Have you ever felt hopeless? Have you ever felt like a complete failure at work, in relationships, or even your finances? Does it seem like you’re stuck in neutral and everyone is accelerating? You’re not alone. Just about everyone has felt this way. I know I have. It seemed everyone around me was doing better than me in every way. I felt like a complete loser, because I felt I had not accomplished any of my goals or dreams. I was still stuck in the same position at the same job. I was financially in the red, and let’s not even discuss romance. I didn’t feel anything would ever change. It was as if I was stuck in quick sand and the world around me was watching me sink. I felt completely hopeless.
So, how does one go from feeling hopeless to encouraged, even when your present situation hasn’t changed? It can be as easy as a decision or as hard as you make it. I know what it’s like to feel utterly hopeless. I also know what it’s like to conquer hopelessness and live a fulfilling life in my present state. I’ll share with you 5 things I do to help me defeat hopelessness and become encouraged and confident.
Don’t turn your nose up at this one. Praying is a mega stress reliever for me. If you haven’t prayed (or meditated), give it a try. If you believe in a Higher Power, like I do, I’m happy to hand the burden over to God. I first had to realize I can’t control everything, and when I can’t, I hand it over to Him. I simply say, “Lord, there’s nothing I can do with this one. Either grant me the wisdom to handle it, or take it from me.”
I also take out the time to meditate. My definition of meditation is quiet time for about 15 minutes to an hour. I sit quietly in a room with the shades drawn, phone off, and no other distractions. I try to clear my my mind of noise and clutter, and focus on my breathing. You’d be surprised what answers come to you during this time. Even if you receive no answers, you’ll gain a sense of peace simply by being still.
I Read The Holy Bible
I’ll pick a scripture, any scripture. Or I’ll find a scripture that pertains to how I’m feeling or what I’m experiencing.
I ask God to give me understanding before I read it, and then I apply the scripture to what I’m going through by taking action based on scripture instructions. Sometimes, reading the Lord’s Word is calming food for my soul, and I’m at peace.
I Read Books or Watch Videos
There’s nothing like discovering an inspirational or motivational book or video that applies to my present circumstances. I enjoy reading motivational books, but I find I’m more attracted to the myriad of motivational videos on Youtube. When I watch or simply listen to these videos, I feel like I can take on the world! I use those super-charged feelings to create and plan out my goals, and keep the momentum going. Some of the videos I watch are:
I listen to these videos almost anywhere, while I’m driving, working, cleaning, or even sleeping! For some, listening to positive affirmations while sleeping can help reduce anxiety, hopelessness, and depression. It does for me!
I Talk to Someone I Trust
If you’re feeling the sinking feeling of hopelessness, talk to someone! When you’re alone, you will most likely continue focusing on the problem, which only helps to magnify it. This can cause far more stress, anxiety, and even depression.
Having someone to talk to can help take the load off, and the person you’re confiding in might be able to help you see the issue from a different perspective; and in some cases, they can even help you work through it, and relieve you of that hopeless feeling altogether!
I have two or three friends I can choose from when I need to talk. If I can’t find them, I’ve even gone as far as posting a ‘softer’, less detailed version of my issue on Facebook. It’s amazing how many Facebook friends will offer encouraging words, inspiration, wisdom, or even suggestions on how to solve my issue. Sharing my feelings of hopelessness with others has been a blessing!
I Create Goals and Strive to Meet Them
If you have no dream or goals, it’s easy for hopelessness or even depression to set in. Don’t let that happen!
If you don’t have any dreams or goals, create them! Sit in a quiet place with no distractions and work on creating something that’s better than your present situation. You want out of debt, face the debt and plan how to eliminate the debt and increase income. If you want a new skill, make plans to take a course. If you want to start your own business, think of what kind of business you want to start, think of a name, make sure it’s not taken, and then buy the domain name to get things started! If you want to make your life more meaningful or exciting, volunteer to help others, or be spontaneous and go on a road trip or a vacation!
I decided that I wanted to do something to help the Black community, so I started Black Biz Review, a website that helps Black businesses succeed by video reviewing Black-owned businesses. It has been a blessing to others and is quickly gaining popularity!
Black Biz Review has motivated me to collaborate with others, which has opened opportunities for speaking engagements and authoring books! All of this is leading me down the road to becoming a coach and making even more of a difference in other people’s lives.
As life throws you some serious blows, It’s inevitable that you may feel a sense of hopelessness.
It’s okay to cry at the initial onset of the issue. Just don’t cry forever. Take action before hopelessness becomes comfortable and invites depression to join it. Believe in yourself and the Higher Power within you, and obliterate that sense of hopelessness! Try one or all of the steps I shared, and let me know if any of them worked for you!